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Phreak
Out 1 - Bundles of Joy.
by
Phreak
26/01/02
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Well slap
my non-bald head and call me a slightly less feminine version of The
Fat Sow, fuck me I'm angry. And do you know why? Kids. Little bundles
of joy that they are, some of them even exhibit canine-like levels
of intelligence. However, give them a console and what little rationality
lies within goes out a very small window. To the hardcore, these little
people are nothing more than vicious fascist scumbags in disguise.
They whine on and on about things they know very little about, wishing
to push their inane views upon those who know better. Much better.
But why?
Impressionable
Youth
First
we have to analyse the current situation for your average fanfuck.
We must assume that they've been playing for less than 5 years,
probably beginning with a PSX or perhaps a GB. This will have left
an indelible mark on the impressionable youth, leading to an unnecessary
platform allegiance that will govern the rest of his, or her teenage
gaming life. For them, there is no alternative, no grey area, just
black and white. Boring shits. This sort of pig headedness has caused
massive tragedies for the games market. Observe.
Kathy
Burke
The
death of Dreamcast had most gaming enthusiasts up in arms, and why
not? Here was a genuinely powerful, online capable, competitively
priced piece of hardware. More importantly, it made contemporary
competitors, N64 and PSX, look woefully impotent. Did it sell? Did
it fuck. Many people say it was Sega's inept marketing skills that
buried the dream. These people are crack smoking Nazi's who should
be eaten alive, bollocks first, by Kathy Burke. It was the loyalty
of children which lead to Sega's abandonment of hardware. Loyalty
to an empty promise.
Rubber
Ducky
Sega
never had a chance whilst Sony was generating propaganda for a hype-hungry
audience. Games fans were outraged by the arrogant stubbornness
of the Sony clique. Sony fans, likewise, were outraged by suggestions
that DC might actually be quite good. Wankers. They were happy with
their rubber ducky demo and their ridiculously optimistic visions
of how PS2 might turn out. We didn't even get the last laugh when
PS2 finally arrived in a shower of shite and mediocrity. Blinkered
beyond belief, they managed to convince themselves that the launch
software was a paragon of quality. Who the fuck were they trying
to kid?
Pedestrian
Killing Frenzy
Gamers
under the age of 21 have clearly proven themselves to be incapable
of any sort of reasoned judgement when it comes to games purchases.
They control the market, yet if it were up to them, everyone would
be playing Solid Snake's Gaming Kart-a-roo Pedestrian Killing Frenzy.
We shouldn't put up with it. These people ripped the heart out of
Sega. They put Eidos games at the top of the charts. They don't
know what a sprite is. They are totally controlled by the moneymakers.
They have no respect for gaming; some are even embarrassed by it.
They think that Sony are developers. They will put Playstations
in their bathroom if we let them. They will be the first against
the wall if I get my way.
Badly spelt rants or back pats to: Phreak@phreaquency.freeserve.co.uk
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