X-Box
European TV Commercials
And
so it begins, Microsoft's entrance into the crowded console
market starts with a birth and ends in a death, a chilling
prediction of things to come for Microsoft's great black hope?
Not judging by unit sales in the land of the big-handed -
America. View the trailer HERE
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...and.....FIRE!
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..flying
across our pleasant land
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...difficult
teenage years
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...second
childhood, and mere oblivion
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...the
life jouney ends, 6ft deep.
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*LIFE
IS SHORT*
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*PLAY
MORE*
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Indeed.
But if Microsoft succeed in not only monopolising our working
lives but our leisure time as well shouldn't the strap line
be "Play Up More"?
Actually,
they've got a point.... Life is short... I'm wasting away,
night after night, sat on a couch playing fucking videogames,
I should be out there SEEING THE WORLD.... EXPLORING the
INFINITE possibilities of EXISTENCE, learning about the
world, GROWING as a person, trying to cram as much as I
possibly can into every second of my short precious life.
I should broaden my horizons, meet new people, do or learn
something new everyday. Not be still sat up at 4.00am next
to three stoned friends surrounded by a haze of Marijuana
smoke discussing the relative aesthetic merits of Princess
Peach or trying for the 137th time to keep a spheroid-encased
monkey from falling off a narrow track.
Life is indeed short... no more videogaming for me.. fuck
that for a game of real life! How many YEARS have I WASTED????
I was going to buy your console but now you've made me SEE
THE LIGHT!
THANK
YOU MICROSOFT!
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"My
name is Horace and I am a drug addict"
Horace holidaying in the
Swiss Alps earlier this year (library shot)
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Horace
goes into rehab
Game
adventurer Horace has entered a clinic to beat alcohol abuse,
drug dependency, sex addiction and depression. The move has
resulted in the postponement of his comeback videogame "Horace
and the Post-Apocalyptic Space Monkeys".
In
a statement, Horace's spokesman Arnold Strummer said: "Horace
is a confident and smart man who has decided that a better
life lay before him without alcohol, women and drugs", "He
has voluntarily decided to seek out professional assistance
and knows that he can make it through with support from his
family, friends and fans" he added.
Horace,
38, helped turn PSION into one of the most successful software
houses of the 1980s, having hits including 'Horace and the
Spiders', 'Horace goes Skiing' and 'Hungry Horace' but his
popularity declined with the arrival of more advanced 8-bit
gaming protagonists such as Sabreman and Monty Mole
Horace
has been linked with a string of leading female videogame characters,
but married his childhood sweetheart, model Joanne Guest, in
1996. |
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Games
They Never Made, No. 64
Zelda - The Macarena of Time
"Nintendo
go rhythm action..... Jig to 'The Bolero of Fire', gently
sway to 'The Serenade of Water' and do the funky chicken
to 'The Requiem of Spirit'." read the first press release
of this aborted title.
Supplied
with a dance mat, players would rack up rupees by toe-tapping
out dance moves, by keeping the vocals in synch and by playing
ocarina tunes (by holding a joypad in each hand) in time
to on screen prompts.
The
game climaxed at the Goran Village disco with a 'dance off'
against the evil Ganon to Chic's 1976 hit 'Freak Out'.
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